Sunday, September 18, 2011

r a n t

Its easy to think that life in a different country would be, well, different. And it is. But there are so many similarities here it is crazy. Sometimes it feels like I am at home but then I realize, no this is not America. This is Europe. This is the Netherlands. 

Right now it is almost 8:30 in the morning and I should be getting ready for my first day of regular classes. (So glad that the intensive dutch class is over!) I think now that I will have classes to distract me, I won't miss home as much. Maybe I just have to dive straight into this life and stop holding back. Meaning, I should just live my life day to day, do things that I want to do, and do things that I have to do. If I distract myself with class, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and other random things then the days will go by quicker and therefore the months would go by quicker.

I know that it is kind of sad that I am not enjoying myself to my fullest here but that is for a number of reasons. (1) I don't hear from home as much as I would like. Hearing from your friends and family from home can actually help keep you sane, remind you who you are, and bring you back to reality. Cuz, lets face it, being here does not seem like reality. Feels like I am living a dream most days. So, a connection from home is what I need to know that I am not dreaming, I am living. (2) Half the time I am broke. Everything is expensive and it doesn't help that 70 euros here (which feels like spending monopoly money) actually means you are spending 100 US dollars. You would also think that flying to places in Europe, while you are in Europe, would be cheaper. And yea, it is cheaper than flying from the states, but its still expensive. Kind of like flying from Boston to California is expensive when they are in the same country! I guess that is what I am learning the most, how to spend my money wisely. That is one crash course that I really need to take because I really am terrible with money. I wish I could buy things when I want when I want them. Selfish attitude, but not everything I buy is for me, ya know?

Anyway, I just felt like having a morning rant before class. Let me make this clear to all 5 of the people reading this (idk if its 5 but I doubt its more than that lol): I am not unhappy. But I am not completely happy either. I'm in this sort of limbo, I guess. I dunno... But it is nothing to worry about, I'm sure I am just in a culture shock type of rut. 

Wonder what reverse culture shock will be like.

Until then,


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